Jaan Patterson's 'Music For Shadows' review

by Robert L. Pepper

A 'stream of consciousness' review of Jaan Patterson's 'Music For Shadows' audio release.

https://surrism-phonoethics.bandcamp.com/album/music-for-shadows

As I float into the cloudy sky it seems endless. The clouds brush against my cheeks like cotton. The clouds are alive. They hold stories which float out of the heads of people and rise toward the sun. Although as I travel faster and faster I know my destination is much further. 

I am pelted by strange flowers all smelling of that damp rain smell after a storm. The flowers melt when they touch me and send electricity through my body. It’s all but a tickling feeling. It makes me smile. 

The stories of the people or Earth permeate through my body making me feel their words at a rapid rate. Sadness, happiness, nervousness, and etc, feel like needles exploding on my skin. My heart beats faster but yet I do not breath. I slip through my final cloud.  I break the atmosphere. I am covered in a strange melted, mysterious substance from the flowers. The gelatinous goo lubricates my body from the intense heat of the resisting atmosphere. 

I see stars. I see the moon…..then….I don’t see anything. I am floating. There is no up or down. There is no North or South. I am floating and my eyes are heavy. My eyes start to tear from the dryness of the atmosphere. 

I’m not breathing at all. But I realize this without panic. I don’t have to breathe. 

My eyes close shut. I can’t open them. I am floating and I can’t see. 

It’s like my body has evaporated. I disappeared. BUT I still have awareness. In a state of dreaming. In a state of higher consciousness. My surroundings have changed. Everything looks metallic. Sounds, bounce in the environment in a strange, unstable dance; vibrational and endless. I see sound. The vibrations create forms I don’t recognize. 

I can walk on sound but I don’t have a body. I am pure awareness. Pure form is without form. Pure form isn’t constrained by laws. Pure form just is. Pure form creates beauty and if ever changing. Pure form is never stable. Pure form is light in color. Pure form is colorful light. 

I walk, faster and faster along the changing forms feeling the heat and vibrations on my awareness. I pass other beings. I pass other awareness. Sometimes we merge and share energies, creating sparks of smaller energy masses. 

I vibrate with the small atom like structures that are white. black and silver. I just am. 

I am aware. 

Consciousness of energy. When energy is aware, it creates. I create. I merge with other forms. Collective forms. Collective consciousness. Forms and shapes appear. I see beasts, I see matter. I see organics. I see laws of nature. I make laws of nature. 

Rhythms and harmony, cause and effect, and then creation. 

I am in a field of green with purple sky. Naked, I have form again. I am relaxed. The beads of dew race down my limbs. A field of strange animals run past me. One by one they go faster and faster until the disappear. Instead of clouds I see streaks of red. I roll and roll around the grass. I enjoy my new form. I feel the love of this strange nature all around me. This world is my new mother. A mother with three moons. 

I get up and walk. I feel like time is different. I feel everything is slower except for when the animals disappear. The air is thick. The air feels like water. I still do not breath. I want to be like those strange animals. I start to run. It’s so hard to gain speed. I try once. I try again. I keep feeling the dew form on my arms. I start to saturate from the moisture. I try to run again and then….bliss. I am moving faster than I thought. I see the grass. Now I see the details of the creatures. Their bodies are flowing liquid in somewhat of an animal form. Blues, slivers, and blacks mix like liquid mercury. The colors swirl and flux. The faster we go the lighter the clouds become and the more reflective their profiles are. Their whole bodies become blue mirrors. Sharp enough until I see my own bodily reflection. 

I am one of them. 

I am a beast in another world. 

In another existence. 

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